Wintering with grief: Finding meaning in loss and change
We find ourselves in winter again, as daylight fades sooner and the sun seems farther away, a quiet sadness can gently settle within us. This soft, lingering sadness can mirror the experience of grief. Just as winter carries a longing for warmth, grief holds a yearning for moments that now feel beyond our reach.
For many, grief and illness often walk closely together. When illness enters our lives – whether suddenly or over time – it can bring a series of losses that are not always visible to others. There may be a loss of physical ability, independence or the sense of certainty about the future. Alongside this can come a shift in identity, where the person you once thought you were feels altered or harder to access. These changes can evoke a deep and ongoing grief, even as you continue to live and adapt.
Grief is a normal, natural human response to loss. It is important to acknowledge that this sadness is not a sign of weakness or something to be rushed or silenced. Grieving in the context of illness is not about giving up; it is about acknowledging the reality of change while still finding ways to live meaningfully.
Grief can sometimes surface during days of significance like birthdays, anniversaries or even in ordinary daily experiences, bringing into focus what has changed or been lost. At the same time, the practical demands of managing symptoms, appointments and treatments can leave little space to pause and fully process these feelings.
Unlike grief associated with death, this form of grief often goes unrecognised by our family and friends. Yet it is just as significant because it can affect our mood, behaviour and overall wellbeing. It may come in waves – moments of acceptance, sadness, frustration, anger or longing for how things used to be. There can also be tension between staying hopeful and acknowledging the reality of what has changed. This is sometimes referred to as living with ‘ongoing’ or ‘non-finite’ grief, where the loss is not a single event, but something that unfolds over time.
Allowing space to gently acknowledge these feelings can be helpful. Some people find comfort in creative expression, such as art or journaling, while others benefit from spending time in the company of others who share a similar experience – our Counsellor facilitated groups can provide such opportunity. These small acts of care can help to process emotions and feel a little stronger in what you’re carrying. While the grief does not disappear, over time it can soften, making room for new ways of being and finding purpose alongside a diagnosis.
Counselling can play an important role in this process – offering an opportunity to explore grief, adapting to it and feel less alone in what can sometimes be a very isolating experience. MSWA Counsellors are well placed to walk alongside you to navigate these often difficult and uncomfortable feelings. You don’t have to make sense of it all on your own – support is available. If this resonates with you, reach out today.
