Passing on Knowledge: Murray Cook
Sport has always been a significant part of Murray’s life. It’s where he met his best friend and even his wife of nearly four decades, Bridget. Before being diagnosed with MS, Murray even achieved an impressive 6-handicap in golf, and laments losing the opportunity to find out just how good he could have been.
“I thought I was going around the twist… I’d wake up one morning and half my body was numb, and two days later it was gone,” he remembers. “I’ve got burning pins and needles all over my body, and that took a long time to get used to – it’s every second of every day. But I have had it for 25 years, so now it is just part of life.”
Despite MS restricting his own ability to play sport, Murray approaches life with a positivity to be admired and has found a new way to enjoy the friendships, comradery and confidence-building sport can offer. And as he writes below, this same principle can be applied to all of the hobbies and vocations in life – though it may be in a different form, it is about finding ways to continue following your passions – finding your life, not limits.
Throughout my life until my MS diagnosis during March of 1997, school, work and sport were very important to me. The essence of this article revolves around sport, though it could be related to any subject, the likes of work, hobbies or schooling for example.
Firstly, I need to briefly explain all of our backgrounds. My address when I was born in 1964 was 89 Sussex Street, East Victoria Park. Bridget, my wonderful wife of 38 years, lived at 80 Sussex Street. Helene, my star pupil, lived at 96 Sussex Street. Helene was 12 years old when I was born. My family moved from Sussex Street to Thornlie in 1968.
Helene was gutted when we moved to Thornlie. Whilst in Sussex Street, she would often come over to spend time with me. I was like the brother she never had. When we moved out, Helene cried for days and days. As I was only four years old, I was none the wiser. The next time we saw each other was a chance meeting in the year 2000, at Echuca on the Murray River in Victoria. Bridget and I were there for my sisters 50th birthday, and Helene was there for a croquet event.
The sports that I took most seriously were tennis from age 5 to 22, then lawn bowls from age 22 to 29 and golf from age 29 to 33. They all had memorable moments, and I am lucky enough to still have friendships and relationships that stemmed from them. Even though I lived over the road from Bridget in Sussex Street, I had never spoken to her until 1983 when we were playing social tennis at Thornlie Tennis Club. I was the club captain, in which I was responsible for locking up at days end. Bridget and I had a long conversation in the car park one day after tennis had concluded, and as they say, the rest is history.
As the years went by, I heard via my dad that Helene was doing very well at croquet. That was a massive understatement. Helene’s achievements include -
- Highest rank Australian woman 1992 to 2007 (retired)
- Women’s World ranking of 1 or 2 for 10 years during this period
- Won Australian Women’s Singles Title 7 times
- Won Australian Open 2001, beating the top ranked
male in the final
After retirement from croquet and a break from sport, Helene opted to take up Lawn Bowls. At one point after a few years, she called my Dad enquiring about some coaching. Dad was a qualified Lawn Bowls coach, but he had long retired from this due to health reasons. Dad then mentioned my name to Helene and suggested that she should give me a call. Helene and I agreed to initially meet at my house, where I showed her some newspaper articles of some past achievements I’d experienced. Then we arranged to meet at Helene’s local bowling club to watch her bowling delivery. We visited the club a few times to sort out a few problems that I suggested needed repair, in which Helene immediately saw good results. Her confidence in her game grew, along with her confidence in me.
As a bowls coach, there is only so much you can teach on the green. Once the basics are in place, the mental approach to the game is paramount. So, as Helene’s tutor, I would estimate that our relationship during bowls has been 10% on the green and 90% on the phone. Experience isn’t compulsory, but highly recommended.
With a piece of clay to work with like Helene, with her appetite for competition and her will to win, this has been rewarding for both of us. Moulding her into a top player initially had its issues, but the rewards are being seen now, and hopefully in the future too. Helene is a member of a Premier League club. Two seasons ago, she won the Club Singles, Club Pairs and other recognised events. Helene also won Bowler of the Year and represented her club in the Champion of Champions, where she did her club proud by getting to the Quarter Final, losing the match to a state level player. In Helene’s own words, she said to me “you make me feel that anything is possible”.
I can’t play sport anymore, but I now still get rewards out of it. I mentioned to Helene a year ago whether she realised that I am playing my sport through her. She nodded in acceptance and smiled. As you can see, if you had a skill before you became disabled, it is possible to still benefit from it. I’m so proud of what Helene has achieved thus
far, and boy, it’s made me feel good inside.
A Helping Hand
The hand is dealt, the chips are down,
So, what then do we see?
A set of circumstances
From which we cannot flee.
In dealing with the trying times,
Of which there will be some;
You'll find those valued friendships,
Whence support and guidance come.
In times when your affliction,
Seems so much to be unfair;
The love of those around you,
Makes it less a cross to bear.
It's not so much the problems,
Which confront you day by day;
But how you seek to deal with them
And the courage you display.
Now rest assured that we are here,
All times of night and day,
To seek and pray for your wellbeing
And help in any way.
- James (Jim) Cook (Murray's father)
