Helping you help them: A wellbeing toolkit for carers of loved ones with a neurological condition

Caring for someone you love can feel incredibly rewarding but it can also feel especially demanding and heavy when dealing with illness. Experiencing stress, as well as varying levels of compassion fatigue is a normal part of supporting a family member, friend or loved one. Witnessing someone you care deeply about struggle with or decline in their condition can bring about feelings of despair, depression, anxiety and compassion fatigue. Compassion fatigue is the emotional and psychological cost of caring for others. When compassion fatigue is left unmanaged, it can lead to burnout and affect your overall capacity to look after not only yourself and your loved one but also to be a better friend, family member, colleague, or member of your local community.

Carers often hold unrealistic expectations that they should manage everything alone. This often leads to feelings of guilt and shame when prioritising their own needs. The constant changes that come with neurological conditions can be exhausting, especially when carers feel isolated or misunderstood. Carers have to become the experts in their loved one’s condition, symptoms, medical schedules as well as advocating for themselves and their rights. This forms part of the external pressure to know how to navigate the hospital, aged care, disability and NDIS systems. Over time, the emotional strain and lack of space for self-care can wear them down, leading to burnout. 

At MSWA, we believe that building your wellbeing toolkit can give you greater choice, control and confidence in how you support both yourself and those you care for. Our Wellbeing Sessions offer psychoeducation on topics such as stress management, mindfulness and self-compassion. These sessions are designed to teach you skills and practices to prevent burnout and manage your compassion fatigue.  

Below are just some of the areas we focus on and how they can help make a difference in your life: 

Stress management: As a carer you may be managing multiple priorities in your life. Caring for a loved one with chronic illness may involve frequent time-consuming travel to and from home which may make it harder to meet other responsibilities such as medical and financial appointments, work, school pickups and drop-offs or other prior commitments that are hard to negotiate.  

Symptoms of unmanaged cumulative stress include:  

• Fatigue, 
• Headaches,  
• Digestive issues,  
• Lack of sleep, 
• Irritability,  
• Lack of motivation and, 
• Increased feelings of hopelessness.  

Being able to then implement routines and practices that support good wellbeing is critical to navigating stress. Practical ways to reduce stress can include:  

• Spending time with friends. 
• Making space for activities that are a source of joy and flow. 
• Moving your body with enjoyable physical activity.  
• Eating wholesome meals.  
• Getting adequate sleep.  
• Deep breathing exercises. 
• Deprioritising what is not urgent. 
• Moving face-to-face appointments to telehealth appointments.  
• Time away for yourself.  
• Learning to say no.  

Our Wellbeing sessions focus on breathing for relaxation, breathing to manage stress and quick soothers which were developed to help carers learn how to engage their parasympathetic nervous system to reduce stress and return to feelings of calm.   

Having stronger boundaries and learning to say ‘no’ is what we teach you in our Living Life in Balance module where we will conduct an audit of your life and explore how you can restore balance in each area. The idea that you need to ‘do it all’ may be pushing you beyond your limits. In this module we will help you to evaluate and mediate aspects of your life.   

Mindfulness meditation: As a carer, you may be in a constant state of hyperarousal - feeling overwhelmed and constantly ‘on,’ often without realizing it. This heightened stress can make it harder to respond calmly to situations, can affect your sleep and impact other areas of your life. Our sessions on mindfulness will teach you the skills to slow down, switch off to become more aware of the present moment and manage your emotions from a more grounded place.  

Self-compassion exercises: Self-compassion involves speaking to yourself with kindness, acceptance and non-judgment, much like as you would do with a friend or a child. Self-judgment and criticism are often the automatic responses to failure and mistakes but contrary to popular opinion, this leaves people feeling more frustrated and hopeless. Our Introduction to Self-Compassion session will teach you to have a kinder relationship with yourself. Here you will learn the tools to develop self-compassion with questions that encourage you to think about your own self-care such as ‘how can I comfort and care for myself in this moment?’ Pioneered by Dr. Kirsten Neff, self-compassion is a radical act of self-care and higher levels of self-compassion have been linked to greater resilience and wellbeing.   

Take the next steps: These tools won’t change the facts of your situation, but they can help you to feel more like yourself, empower you to manage stress more effectively and make choices from a more grounded place. Whether you have been caring for years or have been recently thrown into the caring role, we recognize that every carer’s journey is unique. Our approach is flexible, compassionate and grounded in real life, easy to implement strategies that you can use immediately. To find out more or understand how we can tailor our Wellbeing sessions to suit your needs please contact MSWA Counselling and Wellbeing Services.