Calming the storm: Practical strategies for managing anger
Everyone feels frustrated and angry at times. For those dealing with a disability and all the additional related stressors and challenges, anger management can occasionally be a real challenge. Often anger can be our friend, motivating us to stand up for our values, defending ourselves when we have been wronged, and setting good boundaries. Every so often, anger can be our enemy. We can use it to intimidate, control or get our way and leave friends and family feeling hurt.
Anger can hide or avoid our deeper feelings of sadness, shame, loss, or fear. It can be easier to feel angry than helpless or lost. It can be easier to blame others than take responsibility for ourselves. Anger also has strong physical impacts on our health, raising blood pressure, heart rate and hormone levels.
Of course, sometimes the issue is not the feeling itself but how we express it, such as our tone, language, posture and mannerisms. This can be linked to our communication skills and also to our awareness.
Our Calming the Storm wellbeing module explores these issues in a variety of ways, which supports and encourages positive change. We look at awareness and explore the idea that “we cannot manage what we do not notice.” We will be exploring the benefits of noticing feelings earlier, when it is easier to step back, consider the consequences and better manage how we act and what we say.
If anger is a river, then how hard is it to get out if you only notice when you are up to your neck?
When we stay calm and communicate effectively and respectfully, we better invite others to hear us. Even if this does not always happen, we will still feel good about how we managed – that we were able to be clear, honest and respectful.
To support this, we will explore effective ways to be more accepting of difference and communicate our feelings, using language.
A great philosopher Saint Augustine once said, “anger and resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die”. In the long term, we are the ones that suffer most from our anger.
If you're interested in our Wellbeing service, reach out to MSWA Wellbeing Manager [email protected].
